Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Dress To Impress!

*Ch-ch...BOOM!* And they're off to the races! No, really. Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, the sun is shining gloriously - and so begins racing season. You've likely seen several goofy, decked-out runners at a race, donning costumes of many varieties. Perhaps you've even been one of said nuts. If you're looking to try something new and spice things up a bit, I've compiled a list of the most and least encumbering costumes for your viewing pleasure. However, I must warn you that when wearing such clothes, a PR is not a likely event. One is, however, bound to receive a number of amused smiles and entertained looks.

Also, many of the silly costumes you see in races, high-profile marathons in particular, are worn for charity fundraising. Money can be raised for various causes online using sites such as Just Giving. Of course, if you really are planning to run a race in costume, it is only appropriate that you practice with it on beforehand. I recommend you do this on more remote or lesser-traveled trails, as embarrassment might ensue on public sidewalks with numerous, ogling cars passing by.

Most Encumbering Costumes (That, Although Amusing, I Wouldn't Necessarily Recommend Wearing)

We all know peanut butter is a staple in many runners' diets. But it is a new day and age when one can proudly wear the essence of peanut butter in costume form. However, this is an inflatable costume, and could understandably cause difficulty in races of greater distances.*

*Please note that Breadcrumb Runner is not in any way responsible for damage inflicted by fellow, potentially peanut-butter-crazed, competitors. I thoroughly caution you in donning such a delicious suit, and if you choose to do so...well, your life is in your own hands.

This Pacman costume (at right) brings new meaning to the phrase "devouring the competition." Every time the pictured individual passed someone in his/her less-than-inconspicuous outfit, he or she must have been hearing a mixture of triumphant, pitched "beeps" that constitute Pacman's theme music. I imagine the task of running 26.2 miles in this costume was much more difficult than maneuvering the yellow pixels that are Pacman with a game controller.

DUH-DUN...DUH-DUN...DUH-DUN, DUN, DUN, DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN! With this extremely intimidating, Jaws-esque costume, you will strike fear in the hearts of every fellow racer you spurt by.

Now it's time for another...inflatable costume! I can't imagine what joy running 26.2 long, sweaty miles in what is essentially an oppressive blow-up suit, but surely dressing in one of the Kool-Aid man would make it a more enjoyable experience. However, if running a race with this ruddy, ballooning piece of material, it is mandatory that one reciprocates each confused expression with a boisterous, "OHHH YEAHHH." Make Kool-Aid man proud.

Less Encumbering Costumes (That, if You're Just Crazy Enough, Are Viable Options)

First up for our less encumbering bunch of outfits is that of an upside down clown. Be careful to not scare the spectator kiddies! And, if you're lucky, you just might impress a couple people from a distance who miss the illusion aspect of it or have been slacking on regular eye appointments.
Although the movie was, shall I say, quite skull-numbingly dull, one could rock a marathon in this Napoleon Dynamite costume. Be careful to not cover up the give-away tag-line "Vote For Pedro" with your bib number, though! And look. This outfit comes complete with the coolest pair of massive, astronaut-like, Napoleon-Dynamite-style moon boots! What more could one ask for?

Or, you can be clever like this individual on the left by throwing together a number of old, simple clothing items in an odd manner. The result, when paired with a box of chocolates (for mid-race fuel, of course) and a beard (they make fake ones, ladies), is a make-shift Forrest Gump costume!

What is there to lose? Many fellow racers are typically absorbed in the mental aspect of their own race, and spectators of the non-running variety already think we're crazy. Racing in costume can be for charity, or merely a fun, sociable experience. In the end, it doesn't matter what potentially strange or humiliating clothes you donned. Beneath all the material is a runner, and beneath the athletic exterior is an individual who wishes to push their limits and pound the pavement to probe the heights of human ability.


  1. cute post! I like the shark suit, and I'd want to take along the jaws theme song on little speakers.

    You'll have to check out the photos I get from bay to breakers next month, there's sure to be a lot of costumes.

  2. too funny. if i were a dude i'd so do the last one. i dunno if people would get a forrest-with-boobs.