Ode to Duct Tape

To wear cotton socks is a common mistake,

But a newbie I was

And mistake I did make.

In my clean laundry, not a running sock found,

But sitting innocently in my closet,

Cotton socks were abound.

I had no way of knowing the toll I would pay

For wearing those snugly socks,

Which I rue to this day.

Grabbing a pair that were thick and long,

I nonchalantly decided

To slip them both on.

The Nike swooshes smiled and them innocent I did deem,

Those plush, warm socks...

How much harm could they mean?

The back of my mind worried,

But out the thoughts were shut.

I just hoped this wouldn't later bite me in the butt.

My toes as toasty as bread,

The cotton enveloping my feet,

I set out for my run on the snow-packed street.

For the first several miles

Absolutely nothing was amiss,
And running, as usual, was 100% bliss.

But the pain came on suddenly,

As fast as a twister,

And it became clear I was the victim of a blister.

The next day the blister hadn't improved very much,
As the skin, rubbed raw,
Hurt to the touch.

WHY ME?! I wondered aloud to the running gods (who were in the mood to smite)

But they pointed to the cotton socks with amusement

And the running gods were right.

First I tried covering it with a blister Band-Aid,

But the bandage fell off...

The running gods, I could not persuade.

The next day I was determined to run.

A blister Band-Aid and duct tape around my foot

Was my attempt to reduce the friction.

Miraculously the blister, which had wrought so much pain,

Held up through the miles,

I couldn't complain.

The running gods had had a change of heart!

The fact that duct tape is so useful

Is a message I feel compelled to impart.

There is an important lesson in this tale:

Don't wear cotton socks,

Or with a blister you may ail.

But you needn't worry of blisters; have no fear!

All your problems will be solved,

For duct tape is here!

"Duct tape is like the force: It has a dark side and a light side and it holds the universe together."

- Carl Zwanzig

For additional practical applications of duct tape, see 101 Uses for Duct Tape.